Who is obsessed with Hamilton? We’re obsessed in this house. O.b.s.e.s.s.e.d.
Talk less
Smile more
Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for
(You’re welcome for getting that stuck in your head)
How many of us grew up with this understanding? That we should talk less, smile more, and keep our opinions to ourselves? I had this understanding growing up. I still struggle with this today.
I would venture to say that women (and those who identify as women) have been sent this message a lot. But that’s for another day.
When I first started my blog, I was essentially told to “talk less” – no one wants to hear about it.
I have recently been told by a leader in our church that I should “smile more” when I’m on stage. How is this something that men still feel comfortable saying to women?
And daily I feel that I shouldn’t let people know what I’m against or what I’m for, in fear of retaliation, verbal attack, losing friends/family, coming off as “extreme”, etc.
I know I’m not the only person who has heard this messaging and I’m tired of it.
Tact is not a natural gift of mine and it never has been. I say what I think and I say it how I think it.
Nor is the gift of being concise. I have a lot to say and I struggle with editing down my words to please other people’s attention span.
I do have the gift of honesty – When I know what I think, I’ll tell you. When I am still forming my opinion, I’ll tell you. But my gift of honesty gets silenced when I’m told to –
Talk less
And I’m not interested in being silenced anymore. For so long, because I have felt that I can’t speak unless it’s filled with a magical ability to bring opposing sides together as one, I’ve been silent.
But that’s not my job. My job is not to magically bring the world together.
My job is to speak truth, to call out injustice, and to love my neighbors (aka um…everyone..)
Some of ya’ll Christians have done a terrible job with this.
And in my opinion, silence is worse than a lack of tact. So here’s a suggested revision for Mr. Aaron Burr, sir.
1. Talk more, tact or no tact (even to yourself – it counts).
2. Smile however often you want to.
3. Reveal the amount of information that you are comfortable revealing but form an opinion. Have a stance.
Because, as Alexander Hamilton (Lin-Manuel Miranda), reminded us –
If you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?