Here’s the thing.
I got to choose.
Before I even told my parents that I was pregnant, I had given myself the time to choose what I wanted to do.
I remember sitting in chemistry class, looking over at the girl who had gotten an abortion that week. I was fleetingly jealous because I knew her life was going to stay (somewhat) the same, whereas mine was definitely not. However, abortion wasn’t for me.
I got to choose.
The point is not what I then did with my life, or the joy I gave another family, or the growth that we all experienced by me choosing adoption. Because I’m sure she, chemistry girl, also did something with her life, gave joy to other people, and grew in ways she could never imagine.
I don’t even need to go into how much incredible emotional and financial support I had with my family, right? That support, unfortunately, is not something everyone in my situation has. Sometimes, my choice just isn’t possible for someone without that support.
The point is, is that we got to choose for ourselves what we wanted, what we thought was best. And that’s the key.
It’s nobody’s business what we chose…no, not even yours. No, I’m serious, it’s none of your business.
However, if you’d like to get involved, here are some healthy and helpful ways.
-Find a center nearby who helps support single moms. Keep in mind that there are ways to support someone other than financially. When I was pregnant, we had women come in occasionally who would give us pedicures. That wasn’t their career, they just happened to know how to do it and enjoyed serving us in this way. That’s support.
-Find an organization who helps pregnant women, in whatever way you’re comfortable with. You don’t have to get involved with an organization that is pro-choice if you’re not comfortable with that. There are so many other options! If you can’t find an organization that helps pregnant women, consider starting one in your area. I can get you in touch with someone who can help you start this, if you’re interested.
-Pay attention to our education system as it comes to women’s health. Can we all agree that abstinence is not the only thing we should be teaching if we truly want less pregnant single women? If you can’t agree with that, I’d stop reading this article as it’s a waste of your time. No shade, just fact. Find ways that you can help educate young women you care about… in a non-judgmental sort of way. In fact, maybe just take them to a great doctor and let that doctor educate them.
Editor’s note: Getting involved or supporting these women STILL do not make their choices your business. Yes, I’m serious. No, really, read that again.
Here’s the other thing. You can’t be pro-life when the baby is in someone else’s womb and then completely neglect them as they’re exiting the birth canal. That’s not pro-life…that’s pro-birth. I’ll save my political and historical comments on regulation, racism, and sexism, but wow, they want to come out of my fingers very badly. This is self-control right here.
Those babies need just as much support, and just as many people fighting for them, after they’ve arrived in this world. So if you’re fighting for the “pro-life” movement but neglecting those lives after 9 months, you’re missing the real fight. You’re missing the real area to make a difference.
I hope, in the very near future, women have so much education and support that abortion becomes something that occurs only out of life-saving necessity. But we can’t get there if we’re all yelling at women not to have abortions (their choice, still) while prohibiting them from being successful if they choose to give birth (something we can easily change).
But, you get to choose how you want to act and what you want to support.
I got to choose, too.
I believe everyone should have a choice.
(No, it’s still none of your business)
Adoption State of Mind 